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Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1. Quotes. [Aguado stomps on a cockroach to provoke Ventura]. Homicide, Ventura. Watch Red Dawn Dailymotion. Now how ya gonna solve that one? Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK, and became insanely jealous.

Based on the series of comedy films starring Jim Carrey, the PC version of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective is a point-and-click adventure in which you take on the role of. Wasted money on unreliable and slow multihosters? LinkSnappy is the only multihost that works. Download from ALL Filehosts as a premium user at incredibly fast speeds! Did a zany, Ace Ventura-style Han Solo result in the firing of the film's directors? PET DETECTIVE Written by Jack Bernstein Tom Shadyac Jim Carrey EXT. STREET - DAY A UPS Man with a big pot belly is walking down the street, whistling and carelessly.

Then I'd lose 3. 0 pounds.. Aguado. [Aguado charges Ace, but Ace makes him do a face- plant that ends with his face just an inch or so from the dead bug].

Now, kiss and make up. Ace Ventura. [as Captain Kirk]. Captain's Log, stardate 2. We've.. traveled back in time to save an ancient species from.. SO FAR.. no.. signs of aquatic life, but I'm going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I'm going to find it.

I've.. GOT TO, MISTER. Ace is standing in front of Lois who's in her underwear]. My esteemed colleague, Mr.

Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention. Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time. But if I am mistaken.. Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be.. I have *ever* seen! Lois around to reveal a bulge in her nether regions]. That's* why Roger Podacter is dead!

He found Captain Winkie! Einhorn has kissed them]. We'll find the porpoise. Ace Ventura. [to Lt. Einhorn]. Whew.. now I feel better. Course, that might not do any good you see nobody's missing a porpoise. It's a dolphin that's been taken.

The common harbor porpoise has an abrupt snout, pointed teeth and a triangular thoracic fin. While the bottlenose dolphin, or Tursiops truncates, has an elongated beak, round cone shaped teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage. But I'm sure you already knew that. That's what turns me on about 'cha, your attention to detail.

Ace Ventura. [with a German accent]. How can I be getting zis vork done wit all de shouting?

Control de shouting? Reporter. Who's That? Ace Ventura. Heinz Getwellvet. I am trainer of dolphins. You want to talk to de dolphin, you talk to me.

Reporter. What happened to the *regular* trainer? Ace Ventura. Vat happened to him? Vat happened to me?

Seven years I am wit Siegfried. Ve are making de dolphins disappear, und den Roy is coming wit de vite tiger und ze shtuffing in de pants und den I'm gone. Reporter. Where is Snowflake? Ace Ventura. Why do you care about Snowflake? Do you know him? Does he call you at home? Do you have a dorsal fin? To train ze dolphin you must zink like ze dolphin!

You must be getting inside ze dolphin's head. I am saying to Snowflake, "Akay!. Akay Akay Akay?" und he is saying "AKay Akay!" und he is up on ze tail "Eeeeeeeeee!" und you can quote him! Roger Podacter. Alright, it's almost time for Coach Shula's press confrence, uh, lets let Heinz do his work?

Ace Ventura. [shooing reporters]. Go to de conference, go to it. Ace Ventura. This is double- paned sound- proof glass. There is no way that neighbor could've heard Roger Podacter scream on the way down with that door shut. The scream she heard came from inside the apartment before he was thrown over the balcony and the murderer closed the door before he left. Yes. Yes. Oh, yeah.

Can ya feel that, buddy? Huh? Huh? Huh? [mimics Tangina character from Poltergeist movie]. I have exorcised the demons..

Mr. Finkle. What do you know about Ray Finkle? Ace sucks in a huge breath of air]. Soccer style kicker graduated from Collier High June 1. Stetson University honors graduate class of 1. NCAA Division One records, one for most points in a season, one for distance, former nickname "The Mule," the first and only pro- athlete ever to come out of Collier County and one hell of a model American. Mr. Finkle. Are you another one of those "Hard Copy" guys?

Ace Ventura. No sir, I'm just a very big Finkle fan. This is my Graceland. Lois Einhorn. [after she finishes wrestling with Ace, to the surrounding police officers]. Shoot him! Shoot him! Emilio. Hold your fire! Melissa, gun to his head].

Don't shoot! Melissa. Put your guns down or this cop gets it.

I mean it! [cocks revolver]. She's not joking! Lois Einhorn. [ignoring them]. He kidnapped Snowflake!

He killed Roger Podator and was going to kill Dan Marino and meeeeee! Ace Ventura. Ho ho ho Hooooooooooooo! Fiction can be fun, but I find the reference section a little more enlightening. For instance, if you were to look up the NFL's "All Time Bonehead Plays," you might read about a Miami Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle, who missed the 2. Super Bowl XVII. [takes deep breath]. What you wouldn't read about was how Ray Finkle lost his mind was committed to a mental hospital only to escape and join the police force under the assumed identity of a missing hiker manipulating his way to the top in a diabolical scheme to get even with Dan Marino for whom he blamed the entire thing! What the hell are you talking about?

Ace Ventura. SHE'S NOT LOIS EINHORN!, She's Ray Finkle, she's a man. Lois Einhorn. He's lying. SHOOT HIIIIMMM! Ace Ventura.

Lt. Lois Einhorn and football player Ray Finkle, when he sees his dog's fur overlapping Finkle's hair in a photo]. What the.. That's it! Einhorn is Finkle! Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is a man! Ace remembers how Einhorn kissed him and the pieces fall into place].

Oh, my GOD! Einhorn is a man! Ace heads to the bathroom to throw up]. Mr. Shickadance. Ventuuurrraaa.

Ace Ventura. Yes, Satan? Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

You sounded like someone else. Mr. Shickadance. Never mind the wisecracks, Ventura.. Ace's face]. Mr. Shickadance.

Ace Ventura. Mr. Shickadance, I told you - you're my first priority. I'm on a very big case right now. Check this out. [shows him a flyer]. That's a true Albino pigeon. Some rich guy lost it. He's offering a $2.

As soon as I find this bird, you're paid. Mr. Shickadance. I heard animals in there, Ventura. I heard 'em again this mornin' scratchin' around. Ace Ventura. I never bring my work home with me, sir. Mr. Shickadance. Oh yeah?

What's all this pet food for? Ace Ventura. Fiber. Ronald Camp. Who is he, a friend? Melissa. No, this is my date. He's a lawyer. Ronald Camp. Watch Rushmore Online Movies24free. Well, does he have a name, or should I call him "lawyer?" Melissa. No, this is Ace..

Tom Ace. Ace Ventura. Tom Ace. Pleasure to meet you Sir and may I congradulate you on all your success.. TEREFFIC! I was just telling Melissa that one of the first things we learned back at.. Stanford Law.. was the modern proliferation of food poisoning claims against wealthy, private homeowners. In fact, if one were so inclined, one could make quite a lucrative law practice on little else. How is everyone feeling tonight? Ronald Camp. Very, very well, thank you.

Lois Einhorn. Alright, Ventura. Make it quick. Ace Ventura. I found a rare stone at the bottom of Snowflake's tank. It belonged to a 1.

AFC Championship ring. It would have been a Super Bowl ring, but Ray Finkle missed the big kick. Blames the whole thing on Marino.

We're talking mental institute escapee. I saw the guy's room. Cozy if you're Hannibal Lecter!

Melissa and Ace are reading news clippings about Ray Finkle]. Replacement Kicker Having a Great Year." "Ready For Super Bowl, All- Star Kicker Boasts." Ace Ventura. Field Goal Sails Wide. Dolphins Lose Super Bowl." Melissa. The "Kick Heard Round The World." That was Finkle.

The Dolphins lost by one point. Ace lets out an impressed whistle. Melissa flips to the next clipping, with a headline that reads "Finkle Contract Not Renewed."]. Poor guy. Ace Ventura. Poor guy with a motive, baby.

Riddle. I don't give a good goddamn about that fish. Fillet it and fast food it if'ya want'to. All I give a damn about's winning the Super Bowl.